Small Acts of Kindness (on Substack)

That make all the difference

A moment of peace at my local pool.

A friend sent me the following message after last week’s post:

which sent me into a bit of a panic. I had no intention to “start a forest fire.” My only wish (as it always is) was to write an honest essay about a topic close to my heart - in this case identity - trying to define it for myself, or rather, NOT define it. I reread the post again and again, making sure that I was respectful in my thought process. I couldn’t detect anything controversial, or that “radical” (my friend’s description). Did I miss something?

Could it be that my friend, who is used to the volatile discourse on social media was simply concerned for me, and the backlash he thought I was going to get? But I didn’t get any hate mail here on Substack, a place where (so far) I feel that we can have a critical and respectful discourse, even on potentially divisive topics that we might disagree on.

What I did get are many heartfelt messages (most of them privately by email, or text) telling me how relatable, and thoughtful a piece it was. And a message from someone I didn’t know,

Tiffany Chu

, who commented:

Incredibly relatable piece. I wrote on similar themes of rejecting labels recently. Thank you. There are so many ways to identify myself, and I hate being forced into more boxes.

I was encouraged to know that I wasn’t alone in not wanting to force myself into a specific box, and asked Tiffany if she’d share her piece with me. She kindly did, and while reading Roots and Wings, I found myself nodding the whole time. I immediately subscribed to her newsletter and wrote back to her. She said she felt “so seen” while reading me.

Now, this may be a small thing that most people would brush off as a non-event, but for me, this type of exchange is what makes my day. Two writers from different backgrounds and in different parts of the world finding a common ground - a sort of sisterhood - through writing. To know that my piece has touched her the way her piece has touched me, and as a result we were both “seen” by the other - that’s why I write!

My intention is not to provoke, but thoughtfully articulate a feeling/opinion I have about something that perhaps is less “mainstream,” and in doing so, maybe help others who have not yet articulated those confusing feelings for themselves, be seen. To help them feel less alone.

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The past week has been particularly tough. I don’t want to get into the details of it, because I’m writing a book in which I go into painful details about these various challenges. Perhaps that is part of it. I really do know how to choose my subjects… they are rarely light. But I will admit briefly that being a single mother and immigrant who is trying to raise two emotionally and physically healthy teenage girls sometimes can feel like an overwhelming task, even for a ‘Fire Dragon’ like me.

So small acts of kindness really touch me.

Like the kindest private message from

Jane Ratcliffe

that asked me if I would be willing to provide her with my mailing address, so that Lauren Aliza Green could send me a copy of her novel The World After Alice. I am a subscriber to Beyond with Jane Ratcliffe (and you should be too!) where I read inspiring interviews with some of the best writers, like the one from last week with Lauren. I commented enthusiastically (as I usually do) and wrote that I would purchase the book myself, since I don’t live in the US and therefore don’t qualify for the draw of her signed copy. But Jane and Lauren (both women whom I don’t personally know) came up with the genius (and generous!) idea of shipping me a copy from within Canada. This book is not signed by Lauren, but it now has a story I will cherish forever. It was delivered to my doorsteps on a particularly hard day, and I will confess, I was so moved by this gesture that I even cried.

I dove into the novel straight away, and I love it so far! (more on this when I finish reading it)

They say there is nothing as healing and grounding as gratitude. I wholeheartedly agree. The world feels so heavy right now, but these small acts of kindness always remind me of our shared humanity, and that despite the insanity, there is also much goodness in the world. We just have to open our eyes (and hearts) to be able to see it, and appreciate it.

Because these small acts of kindness are not small at all. They make all the difference. And even on the toughest of days, I can list at least twenty things that bring immense joy into my life. These are the things that propel me to go on and strive to make a positive difference in my own, humble way.

Lastly, I will say that my greatest joy - and surprise! - with Substack has been the inspiring and generous community I have found here. So many talented writers who help me think in new ways, and a platform that actively encourages you to be generous with your support. This is in direct line with my values.

Your support means the world to me! It is an honour to be read, and shared. Thank you!

And here is a ‘radical’ post for you, in case you missed it…